My two boys have similarities…like they both think our dog is the greatest, they love bubble baths together, “wrestling” is tops on their lists (even though one is just over 1 1/2 years old), playing the drums as loud as they can is the best, and running around the house squealing with delight is what they do most days.  However, I also see their differences.  When Evan was young, loud or sudden noises or even voices would send him into tears.  Tanner, he’ll flinch and that’s it.  Evan loves getting messy and playing with finger paints.  Tanner, he’s okay as long as it doesn’t touch his hands.  Evan doesn’t like water in his face.  You could pour a cup of water over Tanner’s head and it’s no big deal.

As my children grow, I know I’ll see more similarities of myself in one more than the other, but those certain personality traits that I see in my children as individuals will never be the deciding condition for my love.  They both have the love of me and my husband as their parents.  That love is not based upon a set of traits that makes one of them better than the other, just because they are different.  I appreciate those similarities as well as the differences in my boys.

And just as I see similarities and differences among my own children, I think of how God must feel.  He sees all of His children’s differences yet his love holds no condition. He appreciates each of us as individuals.  He delights that we are not exactly alike.  He loves us all equally.  I’m so thankful for that.  I can be who He made me to be and live in that freedom.  He sees all the inner parts of my heart and knows me better than anyone.  I don’t have to “shout from the rooftops” who I am or explain it to Him, just as my own children do not have to explain to me who they are.  I don’t have to exhaust myself trying prove anything.  God loves me for me, just as He loves those around me for who they are.  He appreciates our differences and that is just awesome.  His love is always there and reachable.

What a Mighty God I serve!

Tonight is a cold, wintery night.  Old Man Winter graced upstate NY with about 8 inches snow!  The weather outside may be frigid but inside, in my heart, it’s toasty warm.

Sitting here counting my blessings leaves me with a feeling of humble thanksgiving.

The man I married almost 13 years ago is still the man I love the most today.  We have made some forever memories over the years.  I am content to say that each year we grow closer together.  I couldn’t ask for a better mate in this life.

I reflect on our baby boy, Tanner, this year.  He’s almost 18 months old.  This holiday season is holding extra special moments.  His eyes lit up when we started lugging out the Christmas twinkle lights.  The “ohhhh” that kept uttering from his little mouth every time he discovered a new ornament on the tree was sweeter than any candy cane. My day is full tucking him in at night as he clings to his Tigger and gives me one last “fist bump” and smile.  His scrunched up nose, four “chicklet” teeth, and slobbery kisses are the best gifts this mommy could receive this year.

Then there’s our little man, Evan.  I could never have imagined what it’d be like to live and love a 4 (almost 5) year old boy.  What an absolute adventure!  He is smart, funny, kind, loving and full of energy.  Hearing his laugh when he tells a joke, watching him dance to “Step in Time,” think intently as he builds a block castle, and draw pictures of our family are just a few of the priceless moments in any given day with Evan.  Then there are the five costume changes per day, him begging for my ski helmet and goggles to wear, plopping his skinny feet into the “moon boots” he adores and riding around on his much-too-small tricycle (in our kitchen).  And homeschooling him is just another highlight.  I couldn’t never have anticipated the pride and joy I’d feel teaching him to read and write, think through a question or quietly pray with him.

Seeing the relationship between our two boys is extraordinary.  I had no idea it would be this fascinating to witness.  As their parents, we are there to encourage them in their relationship with one another and I know that will continue over the years.  But I also see such a natural love and protection they have for one another.  One that mom and dad doesn’t have to foster.  It’s just there.  It’s precious.

Along with each other, we have the love of those around us.  We are surrounded by a caring and loving extended family and also a warm-hearted church family.  All of these things make for a very plenteous life and I am so grateful.

God has been better to me than I ever could have been to myself.  I feel His goodness and faithfulness every day.  My family is together, healthy and happy.  I want for nothing this holiday season.  I am blessed with eternal goodness. The best one of all is love.

Be blessed this holiday season! I pray you and yours feel the love of family and friends and, most importantly, the love of God.

Merry Christmas!

These Golden Rods caught my eye yesterday while driving and I had to stop and snap a picture.  It provided good reflection.  It’s easy to “drive by” sometimes and not notice the beauty around us in full bloom.  In keeping ourselves in practice of noticing the “flora” in whatever season of life we find ourselves in, we soon realize there is something always in bloom.  Even in the winter, something is growing underneath all of that icy cold.  To everything there is a season…

Blooming Golden Rods

Walking into Tanner’s dimly lit room tonight, I give him one last glimpse before I head off to blessed slumber.  But I stop.  It’s then, as I’m staring at him sweetly sleeping, I see it.  His crib is becoming very full or should I say he is getting bigger.  There’s less room from where his head starts and the end of the crib stops.  It hits me just how fast time is going and how much he is growing every day.  Of course I knew this.  That’s what happens, right?  Have a baby, watch them grow.  But it’s those quiet, dimly lit moments sometimes where reality makes it’s way into my mind and I slow down enough to really recognize it.  Tonight was such a moment.  Then the memories came flooding back.  I had this same type of moment years ago with Evan, who now almost fills a twin bed.

It’s in those dimly lit moments that I remember how precious my children are.

Last weekend you turned 1 year old.  July 4, 2008, at 2:55 a.m. you entered the world with a bang.  Adding you to our family was one of the absolute happiest days of my life.  Seeing your big brother meet you and hold you…you were already captivated by him and he with you.  I think time stood still as daddy and I watched the two of you together that first time in the hospital room.  The world was perfect at that very moment.  Feelings of abundant blessings overwhelmed my soul.  I had not only been blessed with one child but now two.

This past year gone by has been incredible.  You were and still are a very content, easygoing boy with lots of smiles.  Your personality is so cheerful.  You constantly wave at people passing by.  You give them a smile when they stop to chat with you.  You clap your hands, make the “so big” move, use your sign language for more, please and thank you.  You learn so quickly!  Your giggle is the best sound.  You are super ticklish.  The best is ticking that spot on your head.  You giggle so hard!

One of my most favorite times of the day is our evenings before bed.  Bathing you, giving you your bottle, snuggling, reading and talking with you.  I love it when you take your tiny hand and touch my face with those grins from behind the bottle.

I love the way you “swim” in your crib when you get super excited.  Every time you see Uno you do your dog noise and say, “gog.”  These little things you do each day fill our days to the brim with sweetness.

Tanner baby, you have brought such joy to our lives.  I can’t express how awesome this past year has been.  I know that as the months continue to pass all of the cherished moments, fond memories and giggles and hugs will continue to blossom.  Being your mommy is sheer joy and I’m so thankful God gave me you!

Happy Birthday, Lil’ Sparkler!

So there you are..

Love

First Family Vacation

Big Cheeses!

First Harvest

First Christmas

Sittin' Pretty

Time To Stand!

Summer 2009 - Happy 1st Year, Tanner!

The air is cold, senses dulled.  Eyes glazed and wishing for sunshine.  Barren tree pleading for new life, waiting for the freeze to pass.  Storm clouds looming slowly releasing their soggy mixture.  Trying to find shelter but never feeling satisfied.  Yearning for brighter days where the warmth seeps into the skin and makes things feel good again.  Will it ever happen?

Then slowly, steadily it happens.  The clouds part, the rays sweetly break through.  Promised newness has sprang from it’s dark and hazy sleepiness.  Sipping from the eternal fountain as the water cascades to every part of that barren land.  The air becomes warmer, more inviting, easier to breathe in.  The sweetness is even sweeter than before.  A renewed sense of self is manifested in the reflection.  The secret place of holy communion is dusted off and living, speaking, dwelling.  Purpose has gripped the heart as my eyes turn upward remembering the storm, the blessed storm.

This weekend I went to a ladies tea and we were asked what our tea cup meant to us…

As I sit and look at the physical tea cup I drink my favorite loose leaf black tea from, I am reflecting on my own heart.  It’s had a few chips and scratches and even some of the gold etching worn off over time.  And what I’m realizing is that a lot of times those “used” treasure pieces are the ones that are the most beautiful.  They’ve lived.  They have stories to tell.  The aging process makes the treasure all that more valuable.

I’m okay with my fine china pieces receiving their fair share of wear and tear.  Yet, I am careful whose hands I put that priceless tea cup into.  I hope that as I reflect on my own “tea cup” as the years pass, I see that the chips and scrapes that have come from this life are ones mostly made from the wear and tear of loving, soft hands.  Hands that have delicately surrounded it with a caring caress.  And I hope that I may leave gentle fingerprints on those “tea cups” around me that will only make their treasure more beautiful.

Being a mom of a 3 1/2 year old and a 6 1/2 month old is without a doubt the best thing I’ve ever done.  As challenging as it can be, these days with my two children are simply…the best days of my life.  Evan and Tanner bring me such joy and happiness.  I have the privledge of being called “mommy” by them.

Time is like a vapor the Bible says.  I know these “golden years” with my boys will fly by and one day I’ll be looking back at our memories only in a photo album.  I’m treasuring each and every day I’ve been given with them.  Their bright eyes and warm smiles are things I will treasure and forever etch into my mind.

Every “I love you, mommy” and heartfelt hug, every stinky diaper changed whilst I’m looking at my boy’s gummy smile, seeing them both learn something new for the first time, the gurgling sound as he tries to “talk,” that feeling over and over again that my heart just might burst with love over the two priceless gifts I’ve been given.

I don’t strive to climb a corporate ladder, wear the highest fashions, make the most money or even be what everyone else thinks I should be.  I’m me, forever striving to be a Christian mom to my children in every sense of the word.

These days, the days raising my children, I am sure are the absolute best days of my life.

It’s New Year’s Eve, 2008.  This has been a very eventful year for my family.  Looking back, I see God’s hand in all of it.

We lost our beloved grandfather, “Poppop,” in March and six months later his lovely wife and our grandmother, “Mommom,” went home too.  The memories that I have of them will forever live on.  My children will know who Mommom and Poppop were and we will keep the beauty of their lives a part of our family.  They were inspiring and I miss them.

Our “baby,” Evan, turned 3 this past April.  We had a party outside.  This was a first.  Usually the parties are inside since April isn’t always the warmest month.  This year it was surprisingly warm.  But I remember it was a bit windy that day so we moved everything into the garage.  Not the best setting for pictures and whatnot but we had fun.  That’s all that mattered.  My parents were able to come to his party, as they do every year, and that made for some nice memories too.

Evan started preschool this year.  He’s flourishing in that environment and he loves going to “school.”  Taking him to school that first day was emotional.  Just seeing him with his back pack on and in line with his peers really made us realize he’s growing up.  And we couldn’t be prouder of the little person he is.  My father-in-law put raising kids this way, “It’s like an airplane that you can’t put on auto pilot.  It’s always in need readjusting.”  He’s a dad of four boys.  Dan and I are right there to help guide Evan and help mold him into the man he will eventually become one day.  It’s an amazing journey.

July 4, 2008, at 2:55 a.m. Tanner James Byron entered the world.  Such an unforgettable day.  He came in with a bang that’s for sure.  Only five hours of labor after having 20 with Evan.  He was born on Mommom’s 90th birthday, his great-grandmother who passed away earlier this year.  That is so very special to us.  And let’s face it, he will get fireworks every year for his birthday.  Having Tanner here this Christmas was simply the best.  Our little family.  (smile)

I turned 30 this past October.  I’m happy about it.  With each passing year of my life I feel like I am becoming who I was made to be.  I am learning things about myself and discovering new hobbies.  My life is in a constant state of growth.  I don’t want to be stagnant.  I want each day, month, year to hold moments of true learning and humble adjustments.

Our church has gone through some growing pains this year.  It’s a good thing.  Great things are on the horizon for Gateway Church.

So as I sit here reflecting on this year’s events I feel utterly blessed.  I’m confident that 2009 will be a memorable year for my family too.  A lot can happen in a year.  I imagine myself this time next year reflecting on 2009 and I know it’ll be a blessed year no matter what happens.  I am His.  With that, life is good.

May your New Year be abundantly blessed with His riches and may you come to know Him even more this coming year!

Today, I am dreaming.  Dreaming of how life will look in the future.  Wondering in relaxed anticipation what is in store for my family, my children, those we love and care about.  What absolutely incredible plan does the good Lord have in store?  I’m dreaming of simple things too.  Dreaming of my boys playing together in the yard this summer, trips to the beach, walks in the park.  The “3 year trip” we want to take, where we might go.  Looking into my childrens’ eyes I see nothing but a bright future…for them and us.  Not knowing the future is what it’s all about. Living each day to the fullest, stopping to count blessings, remembering the small things, and thankfully dreaming about the days to come.  I’m excited.  I’m blessed.  I’m a dreamer…